


dean winchester is so not that cancer chick

by disgracedwings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode AU: s10e03 Soul Survivor, M/M, blame sam smith, coda fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:32:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3474548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disgracedwings/pseuds/disgracedwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>10.03 coda fic where maybe things work out. picks up when cas goes to leave dean's room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dean winchester is so not that cancer chick

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happens when i have some time between classes and spend it listening to sam smith. this was sitting in my drafts and i'm not even going to pretend like it's good. my mind was just giving me two options: delete it or post it and feel slightly productive. (if it feels really sudden, and i know it does, it's because i was imagining dean and cas' last scene in 10.03 and immediately picking up from there.)

“Stay."

Dean thought the word to himself, the mantra that runs through his head whenever confronted with Cas. _Stay. Stay with me. I need you. I wish you needed me._ It’s past pathetic, he muses, to speak those words to himself for years without once being brave enough to voice them out loud. To voice them to him.The him that is currently standing in his room, still, and staring at him with wide blue eyes and a curious expression.

“Stay?” Cas asks back, question clear in his voice and Dean freezes. “Dean?” and God the way Cas says his name, serious, reverent; it had always been enough to give him some hope. Hope that just maybe this thing between them, whatever it was, wasn’t going only one way.

“Dean.” Cas repeats as he shuffles closer, eyes narrowing slightly as he tries to read Dean’s face. Dean, who, is currently standing frozen in place, eyes wide as he tries to make sense of what's happening. What he just said out loud.

“Did you say stay?” And finally Dean relents, sliding a hand over his face, practicing his next words in his head in an attempt to gain back some control.

“Yeah, man. Look, I uh, don’t worry about it. Just felt like I hadn’t seen you in a while is all."   _Felt like I was a demon under an hour ago and am selfish enough to wish you gave a fuck_ , but he didn’t say that part out loud. He instead holds back a tired, self-deprecating laugh, staring right past Cas at a cobweb growing over the doorway.

“Go on with your heavenly mission, man,” and here he chances a quick look at Cas, and oh wow, mistake, because for all that Cas was basically glaring at him Dean still managed to become captive to those eyes. He surges on.

“Me and Sam’ll catch up with you later. Maybe,” he finishes lamely, still caught in Cas’ gaze. The room is now uncomfortably quiet aside from the distant hum of the bunker’s generator and Dean is starting to feel twitchy.

Cas, the bastard, is still looking at him and as much as he wants to, Dean will be damned if he looks away first.

“Dean.” There it is again and Dean forfeits their staring contest. He goes back to resolutely staring at that damn cobweb waiting for Cas to speak again. Afraid of what he’ll say.

“Do you…?” and Dean winces slightly at his tone, cautious, like Cas is addressing a feral animal. He guesses in some ways Cas is, that he would have been if he didn't get to the bunker on time. “Do you want me to stay?”

His words spoken slowly, carefully, enunciating each syllable and Dean marvels at how Cas sounds both ancient and childlike, asking him in that gravelly voice of his. Marveling at how, just maybe, Cas sounds both nervous and hopeful as well.

Dean startles suddenly as he feels a strong hand grip his right shoulder, briefly remembering a terrifying light display in an old barn, and he looks back at Cas. He looks back at this angel standing tall in front of him, this infinite being staring at him in wonder. Staring at him with what, despite what that doubtful nagging voice in the back of his head says, couldn’t be mistaken as anything other than love. Cas is just looking at him and he's not sure what the hell he's supposed to do. What is there to do but let himself be studied with the trust and adoration he sees clearly in Cas' eyes; faith that such a biblical creature shouldn’t have for a man who’s done time down under. For a man who has tortured and killed, who was just a demon…

Cas looks like he’s half expecting Dean to deny it and one hundred percent hoping he doesn’t, and Dean can’t bring himself to lie.

“Yes. Yeah, Cas I want you to stay,” he jerks out and takes a deep breath, reeling himself in all while fighting his instincts to flee.

Cas' face barely reacts, but Dean sees his eyes widen briefly. “You have to know I would much rather stay here, Dean. With you…Sam.” He seems to add that on as a later thought, but then, “with you.” He says it again more surely and his hand slides from Dean’s shoulder down his arm and Dean’s heart starts to beat embarrassingly fast for a man in his mid-thirties. Cas pulls his hand back though, at the last moment, before he allows himself to reach Dean’s own. Dean’s too nervous to know if he’s disappointed or not.

“Well why don’t you,” Dean let out roughly, “This could be home.”

“Dean, I want it to be.”

“So stay.” There’s that word again, getting away from him, betraying him.

Cas looks away for the first time, down at the floor. Dean momentarily feels self conscious of his room, how dirty it got when he was away. He watches as Cas slowly looks back up at him, his brows furrowed, face thoughtful.

“Okay.”

And Dean’s own eyes widen again as he looks into Cas’ one more time, searching for confirmation that his mind didn't just feel sorry for him and make up an answer it knew he wanted to hear. He sees the small smile forming on Cas’ lips and his heart starts racing again, because yeah, Cas just said he’d stay. God knows for how long, with their luck and timing. Maybe only for tonight, for just a couple of hours, _crap_ it doesn’t really matter. He has no clue what this actually means for them, if this means anything beyond today, he smiles a little when he thinks it might. He's still staring at Cas and Cas is still staring at him and he's probably over thinking everything, but hey, maybe they’ll figure it out because Cas is staying, because they have some time.

So in a voice that Dean will forever argue was steady he replies back.

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr(:](http://www.disgacedwings.tumblr.com)


End file.
